I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
