Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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