you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
