I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We left the knife in your bed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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