Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize