I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am naked and annoyed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
