she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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