sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
