so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
