I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
