JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
