wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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