I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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