If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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