The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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