i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
