the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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