either way he was missing a nipple.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
