We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
