I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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