omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
