Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
