talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
