Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize