Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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