i think i have two assholes
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
