Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
