alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
