I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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