Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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