Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
