just come out here and I will go home with you...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
