just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
high people should be assigned attendants
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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