he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
