I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
50% drunk capacity currently
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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