ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
