no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
