is your mom at the bar?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
