He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
