It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
