successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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