Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All the doctor said was why
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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