this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
