it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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