I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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