You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
