do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i dont even know how to be here
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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