I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
