So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
