I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
