We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
