Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
