I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
