lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
