so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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