is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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