There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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