i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
