i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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