I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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