i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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